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our mutual friend by charles dickenschapter 14 the bird of prey brought down cold on the shore, in the raw cold of thatleaden crisis in the four-and-twenty hours when the vital force of all the noblest andprettiest things that live is at its lowest, the three watchers looked each at the blank faces of the other two, and allat the blank face of riderhood in his boat. 'gaffer's boat, gaffer in luck again, andyet no gaffer!' so spake riderhood, staring disconsolate. as if with one accord, they all turnedtheir eyes towards the light of the fire

shining through the window.it was fainter and duller. perhaps fire, like the higher animal andvegetable life it helps to sustain, has its greatest tendency towards death, when thenight is dying and the day is not yet born. 'if it was me that had the law of this herejob in hand,' growled riderhood with a threatening shake of his head, 'blest if iwouldn't lay hold of her, at any rate!' 'ay, but it is not you,' said eugene. with something so suddenly fierce in himthat the informer returned submissively; 'well, well, well, t'other governor, ididn't say it was. a man may speak.'

'and vermin may be silent,' said eugene.'hold your tongue, you water-rat!' astonished by his friend's unusual heat,lightwood stared too, and then said: 'what can have become of this man?' 'can't imagine.unless he dived overboard.' the informer wiped his brow ruefully as hesaid it, sitting in his boat and always staring disconsolate. 'did you make his boat fast?''she's fast enough till the tide runs back. i couldn't make her faster than she is.come aboard of mine, and see for your own- selves.'

there was a little backwardness incomplying, for the freight looked too much for the boat; but on riderhood's protesting'that he had had half a dozen, dead and alive, in her afore now, and she was nothing deep in the water nor down in thestern even then, to speak of;' they carefully took their places, and trimmedthe crazy thing. while they were doing so, riderhood stillsat staring disconsolate. 'all right.give way!' said lightwood. 'give way, by george!' repeated riderhood,before shoving off. 'if he's gone and made off any how lawyerlightwood, it's enough to make me give way

in a different manner. but he always was a cheat, con-found him!he always was a infernal cheat, was gaffer. nothing straightfor'ard, nothing on thesquare. so mean, so underhanded. never going through with a thing, norcarrying it out like a man!' 'hallo! steady!' cried eugene (he had recoveredimmediately on embarking), as they bumped heavily against a pile; and then in a lowervoice reversed his late apostrophe by remarking ('i wish the boat of my

honourable and gallant friend may beendowed with philanthropy enough not to turn bottom-upward and extinguish us!)steady, steady! sit close, mortimer. here's the hail again.see how it flies, like a troop of wild cats, at mr riderhood's eyes!' indeed he had the full benefit of it, andit so mauled him, though he bent his head low and tried to present nothing but themangy cap to it, that he dropped under the lee of a tier of shipping, and they laythere until it was over. the squall had come up, like a spitefulmessenger before the morning; there

followed in its wake a ragged tear of lightwhich ripped the dark clouds until they showed a great grey hole of day. they were all shivering, and everythingabout them seemed to be shivering; the river itself; craft, rigging, sails, suchearly smoke as there yet was on the shore. black with wet, and altered to the eye bywhite patches of hail and sleet, the huddled buildings looked lower than usual,as if they were cowering, and had shrunk with the cold. very little life was to be seen on eitherbank, windows and doors were shut, and the staring black and white letters uponwharves and warehouses 'looked,' said

eugene to mortimer, 'like inscriptions overthe graves of dead businesses.' as they glided slowly on, keeping under theshore and sneaking in and out among the shipping by back-alleys of water, in apilfering way that seemed to be their boatman's normal manner of progression, all the objects among which they crept were sohuge in contrast with their wretched boat, as to threaten to crush it. not a ship's hull, with its rusty ironlinks of cable run out of hawse-holes long discoloured with the iron's rusty tears,but seemed to be there with a fell intention.

not a figure-head but had the menacing lookof bursting forward to run them down. not a sluice gate, or a painted scale upona post or wall, showing the depth of water, but seemed to hint, like the dreadfullyfacetious wolf in bed in grandmamma's cottage, 'that's to drown you in, mydears!' not a lumbering black barge, with itscracked and blistered side impending over them, but seemed to suck at the river witha thirst for sucking them under. and everything so vaunted the spoilinginfluences of water--discoloured copper, rotten wood, honey-combed stone, green dankdeposit--that the after-consequences of being crushed, sucked under, and drawn

down, looked as ugly to the imagination asthe main event. some half-hour of this work, and riderhoodunshipped his sculls, stood holding on to a barge, and hand over hand long-wise alongthe barge's side gradually worked his boat under her head into a secret little nook ofscummy water. and driven into that nook, and wedged as hehad described, was gaffer's boat; that boat with the stain still in it, bearing someresemblance to a muffled human form. 'now tell me i'm a liar!' said the honestman. ('with a morbid expectation,' murmuredeugene to lightwood, 'that somebody is always going to tell him the truth.')

'this is hexam's boat,' said mr inspector.'i know her well.' 'look at the broken scull.look at the t'other scull gone. now tell me i am a liar!' said the honestman. mr inspector stepped into the boat.eugene and mortimer looked on. 'and see now!' added riderhood, creepingaft, and showing a stretched rope made fast there and towing overboard.'didn't i tell you he was in luck again?' 'haul in,' said mr inspector. 'easy to say haul in,' answered riderhood.'not so easy done. his luck's got fouled under the keels ofthe barges.

i tried to haul in last time, but icouldn't. see how taut the line is!''i must have it up,' said mr inspector. 'i am going to take this boat ashore, andhis luck along with it. try easy now.'he tried easy now; but the luck resisted; wouldn't come. 'i mean to have it, and the boat too,' saidmr inspector, playing the line. but still the luck resisted; wouldn't come.'take care,' said riderhood. 'you'll disfigure. or pull asunder perhaps.''i am not going to do either, not even to

your grandmother,' said mr inspector; 'buti mean to have it. come!' he added, at once persuasively andwith authority to the hidden object in the water, as he played the line again; 'it'sno good this sort of game, you know. you must come up. i mean to have you.'there was so much virtue in this distinctly and decidedly meaning to have it, that ityielded a little, even while the line was played. 'i told you so,' quoth mr inspector,pulling off his outer coat, and leaning well over the stern with a will.'come!'

it was an awful sort of fishing, but it nomore disconcerted mr inspector than if he had been fishing in a punt on a summerevening by some soothing weir high up the peaceful river. after certain minutes, and a few directionsto the rest to 'ease her a little for'ard,' and 'now ease her a trifle aft,' and thelike, he said composedly, 'all clear!' and the line and the boat came free together. accepting lightwood's proffered hand tohelp him up, he then put on his coat, and said to riderhood, 'hand me over thosespare sculls of yours, and i'll pull this in to the nearest stairs.

go ahead you, and keep out in pretty openwater, that i mayn't get fouled again.' his directions were obeyed, and they pulledashore directly; two in one boat, two in the other. 'now,' said mr inspector, again toriderhood, when they were all on the slushy stones; 'you have had more practice in thisthan i have had, and ought to be a better workman at it. undo the tow-rope, and we'll help you haulin.' riderhood got into the boat accordingly. it appeared as if he had scarcely had amoment's time to touch the rope or look

over the stern, when he came scramblingback, as pale as the morning, and gasped out: 'by the lord, he's done me!''what do you mean?' they all demanded. he pointed behind him at the boat, andgasped to that degree that he dropped upon the stones to get his breath. 'gaffer's done me.it's gaffer!' they ran to the rope, leaving him gaspingthere. soon, the form of the bird of prey, deadsome hours, lay stretched upon the shore, with a new blast storming at it andclotting the wet hair with hail-stones.

father, was that you calling me? father!i thought i heard you call me twice before! words never to be answered, those, upon theearth-side of the grave. the wind sweeps jeeringly over father,whips him with the frayed ends of his dress and his jagged hair, tries to turn himwhere he lies stark on his back, and force his face towards the rising sun, that hemay be shamed the more. a lull, and the wind is secret and pryingwith him; lifts and lets falls a rag; hides palpitating under another rag; runs nimblythrough his hair and beard. then, in a rush, it cruelly taunts him.

father, was that you calling me?was it you, the voiceless and the dead? was it you, thus buffeted as you lie herein a heap? was it you, thus baptized unto death, withthese flying impurities now flung upon your face?why not speak, father? soaking into this filthy ground as you liehere, is your own shape. did you never see such a shape soaked intoyour boat? speak, father. speak to us, the winds, the only listenersleft you! 'now see,' said mr inspector, after maturedeliberation: kneeling on one knee beside

the body, when they had stood looking downon the drowned man, as he had many a time looked down on many another man: 'the wayof it was this. of course you gentlemen hardly failed toobserve that he was towing by the neck and arms.' they had helped to release the rope, and ofcourse not. 'and you will have observed before, and youwill observe now, that this knot, which was drawn chock-tight round his neck by thestrain of his own arms, is a slip-knot': holding it up for demonstration. plain enough.'likewise you will have observed how he had

run the other end of this rope to hisboat.' it had the curves and indentations in itstill, where it had been twined and bound. 'now see,' said mr inspector, 'see how itworks round upon him. it's a wild tempestuous evening when thisman that was,' stooping to wipe some hailstones out of his hair with an end ofhis own drowned jacket, '--there! now he's more like himself; though he'sbadly bruised,--when this man that was, rows out upon the river on his usual lay.he carries with him this coil of rope. he always carries with him this coil ofrope. it's as well known to me as he was himself.sometimes it lay in the bottom of his boat.

sometimes he hung it loose round his neck. he was a light-dresser was this man;--yousee?' lifting the loose neckerchief over his breast, and taking the opportunity ofwiping the dead lips with it--'and when it was wet, or freezing, or blew cold, he would hang this coil of line round hisneck. last evening he does this.worse for him! he dodges about in his boat, does this man,till he gets chilled. his hands,' taking up one of them, whichdropped like a leaden weight, 'get numbed. he sees some object that's in his way ofbusiness, floating.

he makes ready to secure that object. he unwinds the end of his coil that hewants to take some turns on in his boat, and he takes turns enough on it to securethat it shan't run out. he makes it too secure, as it happens. he is a little longer about this thanusual, his hands being numbed. his object drifts up, before he is quiteready for it. he catches at it, thinks he'll make sure ofthe contents of the pockets anyhow, in case he should be parted from it, bends rightover the stern, and in one of these heavy squalls, or in the cross-swell of two

steamers, or in not being quite prepared,or through all or most or some, gets a lurch, overbalances and goes head-foremostoverboard. now see! he can swim, can this man, and instantly hestrikes out. but in such striking-out he tangles hisarms, pulls strong on the slip-knot, and it runs home. the object he had expected to take in tow,floats by, and his own boat tows him dead, to where we found him, all entangled in hisown line. you'll ask me how i make out about thepockets?

first, i'll tell you more; there was silverin 'em. how do i make that out? simple and satisfactory.because he's got it here.' the lecturer held up the tightly clenchedright hand. 'what is to be done with the remains?'asked lightwood. 'if you wouldn't object to standing by himhalf a minute, sir,' was the reply, 'i'll find the nearest of our men to come andtake charge of him;--i still call it him, you see,' said mr inspector, looking back as he went, with a philosophical smile uponthe force of habit.

'eugene,' said lightwood and was about toadd 'we may wait at a little distance,' when turning his head he found that noeugene was there. he raised his voice and called 'eugene! holloa!'but no eugene replied. it was broad daylight now, and he lookedabout. but no eugene was in all the view. mr inspector speedily returning down thewooden stairs, with a police constable, lightwood asked him if he had seen hisfriend leave them? mr inspector could not exactly say that hehad seen him go, but had noticed that he

was restless.'singular and entertaining combination, sir, your friend.' 'i wish it had not been a part of hissingular entertaining combination to give me the slip under these drearycircumstances at this time of the morning,' said lightwood. 'can we get anything hot to drink?'we could, and we did. in a public-house kitchen with a largefire. we got hot brandy and water, and it revivedus wonderfully. mr inspector having to mr riderhoodannounced his official intention of

'keeping his eye upon him', stood him in acorner of the fireplace, like a wet umbrella, and took no further outward and visible notice of that honest man, exceptordering a separate service of brandy and water for him: apparently out of the publicfunds. as mortimer lightwood sat before theblazing fire, conscious of drinking brandy and water then and there in his sleep, andyet at one and the same time drinking burnt sherry at the six jolly fellowships, and lying under the boat on the river shore,and sitting in the boat that riderhood rowed, and listening to the lecturerecently concluded, and having to dine in

the temple with an unknown man, whodescribed himself as m. h. f. eugene gaffer harmon, and said he lived athailstorm,--as he passed through these curious vicissitudes of fatigue andslumber, arranged upon the scale of a dozen hours to the second, he became aware of answering aloud a communication of pressingimportance that had never been made to him, and then turned it into a cough onbeholding mr inspector. for, he felt, with some naturalindignation, that that functionary might otherwise suspect him of having closed hiseyes, or wandered in his attention. 'here just before us, you see,' said mrinspector.

'i see,' said lightwood, with dignity. 'and had hot brandy and water too, yousee,' said mr inspector, 'and then cut off at a great rate.''who?' said lightwood. 'your friend, you know.' 'i know,' he replied, again with dignity. after hearing, in a mist through which mrinspector loomed vague and large, that the officer took upon himself to prepare thedead man's daughter for what had befallen in the night, and generally that he took everything upon himself, mortimer lightwoodstumbled in his sleep to a cab-stand,

called a cab, and had entered the army andcommitted a capital military offence and been tried by court martial and found guilty and had arranged his affairs andbeen marched out to be shot, before the door banged. hard work rowing the cab through the cityto the temple, for a cup of from five to ten thousand pounds value, given by mrboffin; and hard work holding forth at that immeasurable length to eugene (when he had been rescued with a rope from the runningpavement) for making off in that extraordinary manner!

but he offered such ample apologies, andwas so very penitent, that when lightwood got out of the cab, he gave the driver aparticular charge to be careful of him. which the driver (knowing there was noother fare left inside) stared at prodigiously. in short, the night's work had so exhaustedand worn out this actor in it, that he had become a mere somnambulist. he was too tired to rest in his sleep,until he was even tired out of being too tired, and dropped into oblivion. late in the afternoon he awoke, and in someanxiety sent round to eugene's lodging hard

by, to inquire if he were up yet?oh yes, he was up. in fact, he had not been to bed. he had just come home.and here he was, close following on the heels of the message.'why what bloodshot, draggled, dishevelled spectacle is this!' cried mortimer. 'are my feathers so very much rumpled?'said eugene, coolly going up to the looking-glass.they are rather out of sorts. but consider. such a night for plumage!''such a night?' repeated mortimer.

'what became of you in the morning?' 'my dear fellow,' said eugene, sitting onhis bed, 'i felt that we had bored one another so long, that an unbrokencontinuance of those relations must inevitably terminate in our flying toopposite points of the earth. i also felt that i had committed everycrime in the newgate calendar. so, for mingled considerations offriendship and felony, i took a walk.' > our mutual friend by charles dickenschapter 15 two new servants

mr and mrs boffin sat after breakfast, inthe bower, a prey to prosperity. mr boffin's face denoted care andcomplication. many disordered papers were before him, andhe looked at them about as hopefully as an innocent civilian might look at a crowd oftroops whom he was required at five minutes' notice to manoeuvre and review. he had been engaged in some attempts tomake notes of these papers; but being troubled (as men of his stamp often are)with an exceedingly distrustful and corrective thumb, that busy member had so often interposed to smear his notes, thatthey were little more legible than the

various impressions of itself; whichblurred his nose and forehead. it is curious to consider, in such a caseas mr boffin's, what a cheap article ink is, and how far it may be made to go. as a grain of musk will scent a drawer formany years, and still lose nothing appreciable of its original weight, so ahalfpenny-worth of ink would blot mr boffin to the roots of his hair and the calves of his legs, without inscribing a line on thepaper before him, or appearing to diminish in the inkstand. mr boffin was in such severe literarydifficulties that his eyes were prominent

and fixed, and his breathing wasstertorous, when, to the great relief of mrs boffin, who observed these symptomswith alarm, the yard bell rang. 'who's that, i wonder!' said mrs boffin. mr boffin drew a long breath, laid down hispen, looked at his notes as doubting whether he had the pleasure of theiracquaintance, and appeared, on a second perusal of their countenances, to be confirmed in his impression that he hadnot, when there was announced by the hammer-headed young man:'mr rokesmith.' 'oh!' said mr boffin.

'oh indeed!our and the wilfers' mutual friend, my dear.yes. ask him to come in.' mr rokesmith appeared. 'sit down, sir,' said mr boffin, shakinghands with him. 'mrs boffin you're already acquainted with. well, sir, i am rather unprepared to seeyou, for, to tell you the truth, i've been so busy with one thing and another, thati've not had time to turn your offer over.' 'that's apology for both of us: for mrboffin, and for me as well,' said the smiling mrs boffin.'but lor! we can talk it over now; can't

us?' mr rokesmith bowed, thanked her, and saidhe hoped so. 'let me see then,' resumed mr boffin, withhis hand to his chin. 'it was secretary that you named; wasn'tit?' 'i said secretary,' assented mr rokesmith. 'it rather puzzled me at the time,' said mrboffin, 'and it rather puzzled me and mrs boffin when we spoke of it afterwards,because (not to make a mystery of our belief) we have always believed a secretary to be a piece of furniture, mostly ofmahogany, lined with green baize or

leather, with a lot of little drawers init. now, you won't think i take a liberty wheni mention that you certainly ain't that.' certainly not, said mr rokesmith.but he had used the word in the sense of steward. 'why, as to steward, you see,' returned mrboffin, with his hand still to his chin, 'the odds are that mrs boffin and me maynever go upon the water. being both bad sailors, we should want asteward if we did; but there's generally one provided.' mr rokesmith again explained; defining theduties he sought to undertake, as those of

general superintendent, or manager, oroverlooker, or man of business. 'now, for instance--come!' said mr boffin,in his pouncing way. 'if you entered my employment, what wouldyou do?' 'i would keep exact accounts of all theexpenditure you sanctioned, mr boffin. i would write your letters, under yourdirection. i would transact your business with peoplein your pay or employment. i would,' with a glance and a half-smile atthe table, 'arrange your papers--' mr boffin rubbed his inky ear, and lookedat his wife. '--and so arrange them as to have themalways in order for immediate reference,

with a note of the contents of each outsideit.' 'i tell you what,' said mr boffin, slowlycrumpling his own blotted note in his hand; 'if you'll turn to at these present papers,and see what you can make of 'em, i shall know better what i can make of you.' no sooner said than done. relinquishing his hat and gloves, mrrokesmith sat down quietly at the table, arranged the open papers into an orderlyheap, cast his eyes over each in succession, folded it, docketed it on the outside, laid it in a second heap, and,when that second heap was complete and the

first gone, took from his pocket a piece ofstring and tied it together with a remarkably dexterous hand at a runningcurve and a loop. 'good!' said mr boffin.'very good! now let us hear what they're all about;will you be so good?' john rokesmith read his abstracts aloud.they were all about the new house. decorator's estimate, so much. furniture estimate, so much.estimate for furniture of offices, so much. coach-maker's estimate, so much.horse-dealer's estimate, so much. harness-maker's estimate, so much.

goldsmith's estimate, so much.total, so very much. then came correspondence.acceptance of mr boffin's offer of such a date, and to such an effect. rejection of mr boffin's proposal of such adate and to such an effect. concerning mr boffin's scheme of suchanother date to such another effect. all compact and methodical. 'apple-pie order!' said mr boffin, afterchecking off each inscription with his hand, like a man beating time. 'and whatever you do with your ink, i can'tthink, for you're as clean as a whistle

after it.now, as to a letter. let's,' said mr boffin, rubbing his handsin his pleasantly childish admiration, 'let's try a letter next.''to whom shall it be addressed, mr boffin?' 'anyone. yourself.'mr rokesmith quickly wrote, and then read aloud: '"mr boffin presents his compliments to mrjohn rokesmith, and begs to say that he has decided on giving mr john rokesmith a trialin the capacity he desires to fill. mr boffin takes mr john rokesmith at hisword, in postponing to some indefinite

period, the consideration of salary.it is quite understood that mr boffin is in no way committed on that point. mr boffin has merely to add, that he relieson mr john rokesmith's assurance that he will be faithful and serviceable.mr john rokesmith will please enter on his duties immediately."' 'well!now, noddy!' cried mrs boffin, clapping her hands, 'that is a good one!' mr boffin was no less delighted; indeed, inhis own bosom, he regarded both the composition itself and the device that hadgiven birth to it, as a very remarkable

monument of human ingenuity. 'and i tell you, my deary,' said mrsboffin, 'that if you don't close with mr rokesmith now at once, and if you ever go amuddling yourself again with things never meant nor made for you, you'll have an apoplexy--besides iron-moulding your linen--and you'll break my heart.' mr boffin embraced his spouse for thesewords of wisdom, and then, congratulating john rokesmith on the brilliancy of hisachievements, gave him his hand in pledge of their new relations. so did mrs boffin.

'now,' said mr boffin, who, in hisfrankness, felt that it did not become him to have a gentleman in his employment fiveminutes, without reposing some confidence in him, 'you must be let a little more intoour affairs, rokesmith. i mentioned to you, when i made youracquaintance, or i might better say when you made mine, that mrs boffin'sinclinations was setting in the way of fashion, but that i didn't know howfashionable we might or might not grow. well!mrs boffin has carried the day, and we're going in neck and crop for fashion.' 'i rather inferred that, sir,' replied johnrokesmith, 'from the scale on which your

new establishment is to be maintained.''yes,' said mr boffin, 'it's to be a spanker. the fact is, my literary man named to methat a house with which he is, as i may say, connected--in which he has aninterest--' 'as property?' inquired john rokesmith. 'why no,' said mr boffin, 'not exactlythat; a sort of a family tie.' 'association?' the secretary suggested.'ah!' said mr boffin. 'perhaps. anyhow, he named to me that the house had aboard up, "this eminently aristocratic

mansion to be let or sold." me and mrs boffin went to look at it, andfinding it beyond a doubt eminently aristocratic (though a trifle high anddull, which after all may be part of the same thing) took it. my literary man was so friendly as to dropinto a charming piece of poetry on that occasion, in which he complimented mrsboffin on coming into possession of--how did it go, my dear?' mrs boffin replied:'"the gay, the gay and festive scene, the halls, the halls of dazzling light."'

'that's it!and it was made neater by there really being two halls in the house, a front 'unand a back 'un, besides the servants'. he likewise dropped into a very prettypiece of poetry to be sure, respecting the extent to which he would be willing to puthimself out of the way to bring mrs boffin round, in case she should ever get low inher spirits in the house. mrs boffin has a wonderful memory.will you repeat it, my dear?' mrs boffin complied, by reciting the versesin which this obliging offer had been made, exactly as she had received them. '"i'll tell thee how the maiden wept,mrs boffin,when her true love was slain

ma'am, and how her broken spirit slept, mrsboffin,and never woke again ma'am. i'll tell thee (if agreeable to mr boffin)how the steed drew nigh, and left his lord afar; and if my tale (which i hope mr boffinmight excuse) should make you sigh, i'll strike the light guitar."' 'correct to the letter!' said mr boffin.'and i consider that the poetry brings us both in, in a beautiful manner.' the effect of the poem on the secretarybeing evidently to astonish him, mr boffin

was confirmed in his high opinion of it,and was greatly pleased. 'now, you see, rokesmith,' he went on, 'aliterary man--with a wooden leg--is liable to jealousy. i shall therefore cast about forcomfortable ways and means of not calling up wegg's jealousy, but of keeping you inyour department, and keeping him in his.' 'lor!' cried mrs boffin. 'what i say is, the world's wide enough forall of us!' 'so it is, my dear,' said mr boffin, 'whennot literary. but when so, not so.

and i am bound to bear in mind that i tookwegg on, at a time when i had no thought of being fashionable or of leaving the bower. to let him feel himself anyways slightednow, would be to be guilty of a meanness, and to act like having one's head turned bythe halls of dazzling light. which lord forbid! rokesmith, what shall we say about yourliving in the house?' 'in this house?''no, no. i have got other plans for this house. in the new house?''that will be as you please, mr boffin.

i hold myself quite at your disposal.you know where i live at present.' 'well!' said mr boffin, after consideringthe point; 'suppose you keep as you are for the present, and we'll decide by-and-by. you'll begin to take charge at once, of allthat's going on in the new house, will you?''most willingly. i will begin this very day. will you give me the address?'mr boffin repeated it, and the secretary wrote it down in his pocket-book. mrs boffin took the opportunity of hisbeing so engaged, to get a better

observation of his face than she had yettaken. it impressed her in his favour, for shenodded aside to mr boffin, 'i like him.' 'i will see directly that everything is intrain, mr boffin.' 'thank'ee. being here, would you care at all to lookround the bower?' 'i should greatly like it.i have heard so much of its story.' 'come!' said mr boffin. and he and mrs boffin led the way.a gloomy house the bower, with sordid signs on it of having been, through its longexistence as harmony jail, in miserly

holding. bare of paint, bare of paper on the walls,bare of furniture, bare of experience of human life. whatever is built by man for man'soccupation, must, like natural creations, fulfil the intention of its existence, orsoon perish. this old house had wasted--more fromdesuetude than it would have wasted from use, twenty years for one. a certain leanness falls upon houses notsufficiently imbued with life (as if they were nourished upon it), which was verynoticeable here.

the staircase, balustrades, and rails, hada spare look--an air of being denuded to the bone--which the panels of the walls andthe jambs of the doors and windows also bore. the scanty moveables partook of it; savefor the cleanliness of the place, the dust- -into which they were all resolving wouldhave lain thick on the floors; and those, both in colour and in grain, were worn likeold faces that had kept much alone. the bedroom where the clutching old man hadlost his grip on life, was left as he had left it. there was the old grisly four-postbedstead, without hangings, and with a

jail-like upper rim of iron and spikes; andthere was the old patch-work counterpane. there was the tight-clenched old bureau,receding atop like a bad and secret forehead; there was the cumbersome oldtable with twisted legs, at the bed-side; and there was the box upon it, in which thewill had lain. a few old chairs with patch-work covers,under which the more precious stuff to be preserved had slowly lost its quality ofcolour without imparting pleasure to any eye, stood against the wall. a hard family likeness was on all thesethings. 'the room was kept like this, rokesmith,'said mr boffin, 'against the son's return.

in short, everything in the house was keptexactly as it came to us, for him to see and approve.even now, nothing is changed but our own room below-stairs that you have just left. when the son came home for the last time inhis life, and for the last time in his life saw his father, it was most likely in thisroom that they met.' as the secretary looked all round it, hiseyes rested on a side door in a corner. 'another staircase,' said mr boffin,unlocking the door, 'leading down into the yard. we'll go down this way, as you may like tosee the yard, and it's all in the road.

when the son was a little child, it was upand down these stairs that he mostly came and went to his father. he was very timid of his father.i've seen him sit on these stairs, in his shy way, poor child, many a time. mr and mrs boffin have comforted him,sitting with his little book on these stairs, often.''ah! and his poor sister too,' said mrs boffin. 'and here's the sunny place on the whitewall where they one day measured one another.

their own little hands wrote up their nameshere, only with a pencil; but the names are here still, and the poor dears gone forever.' 'we must take care of the names, old lady,'said mr boffin. 'we must take care of the names. they shan't be rubbed out in our time, noryet, if we can help it, in the time after us.poor little children!' 'ah, poor little children!' said mrsboffin. they had opened the door at the bottom ofthe staircase giving on the yard, and they stood in the sunlight, looking at thescrawl of the two unsteady childish hands

two or three steps up the staircase. there was something in this simple mementoof a blighted childhood, and in the tenderness of mrs boffin, that touched thesecretary. mr boffin then showed his new man ofbusiness the mounds, and his own particular mound which had been left him as his legacyunder the will before he acquired the whole estate. 'it would have been enough for us,' said mrboffin, 'in case it had pleased god to spare the last of those two young lives andsorrowful deaths. we didn't want the rest.'

at the treasures of the yard, and at theoutside of the house, and at the detached building which mr boffin pointed out as theresidence of himself and his wife during the many years of their service, thesecretary looked with interest. it was not until mr boffin had shown himevery wonder of the bower twice over, that he remembered his having duties todischarge elsewhere. 'you have no instructions to give me, mrboffin, in reference to this place?' 'not any, rokesmith. no.' 'might i ask, without seeming impertinent,whether you have any intention of selling it?''certainly not.

in remembrance of our old master, our oldmaster's children, and our old service, me and mrs boffin mean to keep it up as itstands.' the secretary's eyes glanced with so muchmeaning in them at the mounds, that mr boffin said, as if in answer to a remark:'ay, ay, that's another thing. i may sell them, though i should be sorryto see the neighbourhood deprived of 'em too.it'll look but a poor dead flat without the mounds. still i don't say that i'm going to keep'em always there, for the sake of the beauty of the landscape.there's no hurry about it; that's all i say

at present. i ain't a scholar in much, rokesmith, buti'm a pretty fair scholar in dust. i can price the mounds to a fraction, and iknow how they can be best disposed of; and likewise that they take no harm by standingwhere they do. you'll look in to-morrow, will you be sokind?' 'every day. and the sooner i can get you into your newhouse, complete, the better you will be pleased, sir?' 'well, it ain't that i'm in a mortalhurry,' said mr boffin; 'only when you do

pay people for looking alive, it's as wellto know that they are looking alive. ain't that your opinion?' 'quite!' replied the secretary; and sowithdrew. 'now,' said mr boffin to himself; subsidinginto his regular series of turns in the yard, 'if i can make it comfortable withwegg, my affairs will be going smooth.' the man of low cunning had, of course,acquired a mastery over the man of high simplicity.the mean man had, of course, got the better of the generous man. how long such conquests last, is anothermatter; that they are achieved, is every-

day experience, not even to be flourishedaway by podsnappery itself. the undesigning boffin had become so farimmeshed by the wily wegg that his mind misgave him he was a very designing manindeed in purposing to do more for wegg. it seemed to him (so skilful was wegg) thathe was plotting darkly, when he was contriving to do the very thing that weggwas plotting to get him to do. and thus, while he was mentally turning thekindest of kind faces on wegg this morning, he was not absolutely sure but that hemight somehow deserve the charge of turning his back on him. for these reasons mr boffin passed butanxious hours until evening came, and with

it mr wegg, stumping leisurely to the romanempire. at about this period mr boffin had becomeprofoundly interested in the fortunes of a great military leader known to him as bullysawyers, but perhaps better known to fame and easier of identification by the classical student, under the less britannicname of belisarius. even this general's career paled ininterest for mr boffin before the clearing of his conscience with wegg; and hence,when that literary gentleman had according to custom eaten and drunk until he was all a-glow, and when he took up his book withthe usual chirping introduction, 'and now,

mr boffin, sir, we'll decline and we'llfall!' mr boffin stopped him. 'you remember, wegg, when i first told youthat i wanted to make a sort of offer to you?' 'let me get on my considering cap, sir,'replied that gentleman, turning the open book face downward.'when you first told me that you wanted to make a sort of offer to me? now let me think.'(as if there were the least necessity) 'yes, to be sure i do, mr boffin.it was at my corner.

to be sure it was! you had first asked me whether i liked yourname, and candour had compelled a reply in the negative case.i little thought then, sir, how familiar that name would come to be!' 'i hope it will be more familiar still,wegg.' 'do you, mr boffin?much obliged to you, i'm sure. is it your pleasure, sir, that we declineand we fall?' with a feint of taking up the book.'not just yet awhile, wegg. in fact, i have got another offer to makeyou.'

mr wegg (who had had nothing else in hismind for several nights) took off his spectacles with an air of bland surprise. 'and i hope you'll like it, wegg.''thank you, sir,' returned that reticent individual.'i hope it may prove so. on all accounts, i am sure.' (this, as a philanthropic aspiration.)'what do you think,' said mr boffin, 'of not keeping a stall, wegg?' 'i think, sir,' replied wegg, 'that ishould like to be shown the gentleman prepared to make it worth my while!''here he is,' said mr boffin.

mr wegg was going to say, my benefactor,and had said my bene, when a grandiloquent change came over him.'no, mr boffin, not you sir. anybody but you. do not fear, mr boffin, that i shallcontaminate the premises which your gold has bought, with my lowly pursuits. i am aware, sir, that it would not becomeme to carry on my little traffic under the windows of your mansion.i have already thought of that, and taken my measures. no need to be bought out, sir.would stepney fields be considered

intrusive?if not remote enough, i can go remoter. in the words of the poet's song, which i donot quite remember: thrown on the wide world, doom'd towander and roam,bereft of my parents, bereft of a home, a stranger to something and what's hisname joy,behold little edmund the poor peasant boy. --and equally,' said mr wegg, repairing thewant of direct application in the last line, 'behold myself on a similar footing!''now, wegg, wegg, wegg,' remonstrated the excellent boffin.

'you are too sensitive.''i know i am, sir,' returned wegg, with obstinate magnanimity.'i am acquainted with my faults. i always was, from a child, too sensitive.' 'but listen,' pursued the golden dustman;'hear me out, wegg. you have taken it into your head that imean to pension you off.' 'true, sir,' returned wegg, still with anobstinate magnanimity. 'i am acquainted with my faults.far be it from me to deny them. i have taken it into my head.' 'but i don't mean it.'the assurance seemed hardly as comforting

to mr wegg, as mr boffin intended it to be. indeed, an appreciable elongation of hisvisage might have been observed as he replied:'don't you, indeed, sir?' 'no,' pursued mr boffin; 'because thatwould express, as i understand it, that you were not going to do anything to deserveyour money. but you are; you are.' 'that, sir,' replied mr wegg, cheering upbravely, 'is quite another pair of shoes. now, my independence as a man is againelevated. now, i no longer

weep for the hour, when to boffinsesbower,the lord of the valley with offers came; neither does the moon hide her lightfromthe heavens to-night,and weep behind her clouds o'er any individual in thepresent company's shame. --please to proceed, mr boffin.''thank'ee, wegg, both for your confidence in me and for your frequent dropping intopoetry; both of which is friendly. well, then; my idea is, that you shouldgive up your stall, and that i should put you into the bower here, to keep it for us. it's a pleasant spot; and a man with coalsand candles and a pound a week might be in

clover here.' 'hem! would that man, sir--we will say thatman, for the purposes of argueyment;' mr wegg made a smiling demonstration of greatperspicuity here; 'would that man, sir, be expected to throw any other capacity in, or would any other capacity be consideredextra? now let us (for the purposes of argueyment)suppose that man to be engaged as a reader: say (for the purposes of argueyment) in theevening. would that man's pay as a reader in theevening, be added to the other amount, which, adopting your language, we will callclover; or would it merge into that amount,

or clover?' 'well,' said mr boffin, 'i suppose it wouldbe added.' 'i suppose it would, sir.you are right, sir. exactly my own views, mr boffin.' here wegg rose, and balancing himself onhis wooden leg, fluttered over his prey with extended hand.'mr boffin, consider it done. say no more, sir, not a word more. my stall and i are for ever parted. the collection of ballads will in future bereserved for private study, with the object

of making poetry tributary'--wegg was soproud of having found this word, that he said it again, with a capital letter--'tributary, to friendship. mr boffin, don't allow yourself to be madeuncomfortable by the pang it gives me to part from my stock and stall. similar emotion was undergone by my ownfather when promoted for his merits from his occupation as a waterman to a situationunder government. his christian name was thomas. his words at the time (i was then aninfant, but so deep was their impression on me, that i committed them to memory) were:

then farewell my trim-built wherry,oars and coat and badge farewell! never more at chelsea ferry, shallyour thomas take a spell! --my father got over it, mr boffin, and soshall i.' while delivering these valedictoryobservations, wegg continually disappointed mr boffin of his hand by flourishing it inthe air. he now darted it at his patron, who tookit, and felt his mind relieved of a great weight: observing that as they had arrangedtheir joint affairs so satisfactorily, he would now be glad to look into those ofbully sawyers. which, indeed, had been left over-night ina very unpromising posture, and for whose

impending expedition against the persiansthe weather had been by no means favourable all day. mr wegg resumed his spectacles therefore. but sawyers was not to be of the party thatnight; for, before wegg had found his place, mrs boffin's tread was heard uponthe stairs, so unusually heavy and hurried, that mr boffin would have started up at the sound, anticipating some occurrence muchout of the common course, even though she had not also called to him in an agitatedtone. mr boffin hurried out, and found her on thedark staircase, panting, with a lighted

candle in her hand.'what's the matter, my dear?' 'i don't know; i don't know; but i wishyou'd come up-stairs.' much surprised, mr boffin went up stairsand accompanied mrs boffin into their own room: a second large room on the same flooras the room in which the late proprietor had died. mr boffin looked all round him, and sawnothing more unusual than various articles of folded linen on a large chest, which mrsboffin had been sorting. 'what is it, my dear? why, you're frightened!you frightened?'

'i am not one of that sort certainly,' saidmrs boffin, as she sat down in a chair to recover herself, and took her husband'sarm; 'but it's very strange!' 'what is, my dear?' 'noddy, the faces of the old man and thetwo children are all over the house to- night.''my dear?' exclaimed mr boffin. but not without a certain uncomfortablesensation gliding down his back. 'i know it must sound foolish, and yet itis so.' 'where did you think you saw them?' 'i don't know that i think i saw themanywhere.

i felt them.''touched them?' 'no. felt them in the air. i was sorting those things on the chest,and not thinking of the old man or the children, but singing to myself, when allin a moment i felt there was a face growing out of the dark.' 'what face?' asked her husband, lookingabout him. 'for a moment it was the old man's, andthen it got younger. for a moment it was both the children's,and then it got older. for a moment it was a strange face, andthen it was all the faces.'

'and then it was gone?' 'yes; and then it was gone.''where were you then, old lady?' 'here, at the chest.well; i got the better of it, and went on sorting, and went on singing to myself. "lor!"i says, "i'll think of something else-- something comfortable--and put it out of myhead." so i thought of the new house and missbella wilfer, and was thinking at a great rate with that sheet there in my hand, whenall of a sudden, the faces seemed to be hidden in among the folds of it and i letit drop.'

as it still lay on the floor where it hadfallen, mr boffin picked it up and laid it on the chest. 'and then you ran down stairs?''no. i thought i'd try another room, and shake it off. i says to myself, "i'll go and walk slowlyup and down the old man's room three times, from end to end, and then i shall haveconquered it." i went in with the candle in my hand; butthe moment i came near the bed, the air got thick with them.''with the faces?' 'yes, and i even felt that they were in thedark behind the side-door, and on the

little staircase, floating away into theyard. then, i called you.' mr boffin, lost in amazement, looked at mrsboffin. mrs boffin, lost in her own flutteredinability to make this out, looked at mr 'i think, my dear,' said the goldendustman, 'i'll at once get rid of wegg for the night, because he's coming to inhabitthe bower, and it might be put into his head or somebody else's, if he heard thisand it got about that the house is haunted. whereas we know better.don't we?' 'i never had the feeling in the housebefore,' said mrs boffin; 'and i have been

about it alone at all hours of the night. i have been in the house when death was init, and i have been in the house when murder was a new part of its adventures,and i never had a fright in it yet.' 'and won't again, my dear,' said mr boffin. 'depend upon it, it comes of thinking anddwelling on that dark spot.' 'yes; but why didn't it come before?' askedmrs boffin. this draft on mr boffin's philosophy couldonly be met by that gentleman with the remark that everything that is at all, mustbegin at some time. then, tucking his wife's arm under his own,that she might not be left by herself to be

troubled again, he descended to releasewegg. who, being something drowsy after hisplentiful repast, and constitutionally of a shirking temperament, was well enoughpleased to stump away, without doing what he had come to do, and was paid for doing. mr boffin then put on his hat, and mrsboffin her shawl; and the pair, further provided with a bunch of keys and a lightedlantern, went all over the dismal house-- dismal everywhere, but in their own tworooms--from cellar to cock-loft. not resting satisfied with giving that muchchace to mrs boffin's fancies, they pursued them into the yard and outbuildings, andunder the mounds.

and setting the lantern, when all was done,at the foot of one of the mounds, they comfortably trotted to and fro for anevening walk, to the end that the murky cobwebs in mrs boffin's brain might beblown away. there, my dear!' said mr boffin when theycame in to supper. 'that was the treatment, you see. completely worked round, haven't you?''yes, deary,' said mrs boffin, laying aside her shawl.'i'm not nervous any more. i'm not a bit troubled now. i'd go anywhere about the house the same asever.

but--''eh!' said mr boffin. 'but i've only to shut my eyes.' 'and what then?''why then,' said mrs boffin, speaking with her eyes closed, and her left handthoughtfully touching her brow, 'then, there they are! the old man's face, and it gets younger.the two children's faces, and they get older.a face that i don't know. and then all the faces!' opening her eyes again, and seeing herhusband's face across the table, she leaned

forward to give it a pat on the cheek, andsat down to supper, declaring it to be the best face in the world. our mutual friend by charles dickenschapter 16 minders and re-minders the secretary lost no time in getting towork, and his vigilance and method soon set their mark on the golden dustman's affairs. his earnestness in determining tounderstand the length and breadth and depth of every piece of work submitted to him byhis employer, was as special as his despatch in transacting it.

he accepted no information or explanationat second hand, but made himself the master of everything confided to him. one part of the secretary's conduct,underlying all the rest, might have been mistrusted by a man with a better knowledgeof men than the golden dustman had. the secretary was as far from beinginquisitive or intrusive as secretary could be, but nothing less than a completeunderstanding of the whole of the affairs would content him. it soon became apparent (from the knowledgewith which he set out) that he must have been to the office where the harmon willwas registered, and must have read the

will. he anticipated mr boffin's considerationwhether he should be advised with on this or that topic, by showing that he alreadyknew of it and understood it. he did this with no attempt at concealment,seeming to be satisfied that it was part of his duty to have prepared himself at allattainable points for its utmost discharge. this might--let it be repeated--haveawakened some little vague mistrust in a man more worldly-wise than the goldendustman. on the other hand, the secretary wasdiscerning, discreet, and silent, though as zealous as if the affairs had been his own.

he showed no love of patronage or thecommand of money, but distinctly preferred resigning both to mr boffin. if, in his limited sphere, he sought power,it was the power of knowledge; the power derivable from a perfect comprehension ofhis business. as on the secretary's face there was anameless cloud, so on his manner there was a shadow equally indefinable. it was not that he was embarrassed, as onthat first night with the wilfer family; he was habitually unembarrassed now, and yetthe something remained. it was not that his manner was bad, as onthat occasion; it was now very good, as

being modest, gracious, and ready.yet the something never left it. it has been written of men who haveundergone a cruel captivity, or who have passed through a terrible strait, or who inself-preservation have killed a defenceless fellow-creature, that the record thereof has never faded from their countenancesuntil they died. was there any such record here? he established a temporary office forhimself in the new house, and all went well under his hand, with one singularexception. he manifestly objected to communicate withmr boffin's solicitor.

two or three times, when there was someslight occasion for his doing so, he transferred the task to mr boffin; and hisevasion of it soon became so curiously apparent, that mr boffin spoke to him onthe subject of his reluctance. 'it is so,' the secretary admitted.'i would rather not.' had he any personal objection to mrlightwood? 'i don't know him.'had he suffered from law-suits? 'not more than other men,' was his shortanswer. was he prejudiced against the race oflawyers? 'no. but while i am in your employment,sir, i would rather be excused from going

between the lawyer and the client.of course if you press it, mr boffin, i am ready to comply. but i should take it as a great favour ifyou would not press it without urgent occasion.' now, it could not be said that there wasurgent occasion, for lightwood retained no other affairs in his hands than such asstill lingered and languished about the undiscovered criminal, and such as aroseout of the purchase of the house. many other matters that might havetravelled to him, now stopped short at the secretary, under whose administration theywere far more expeditiously and

satisfactorily disposed of than they would have been if they had got into youngblight's domain. this the golden dustman quite understood. even the matter immediately in hand was ofvery little moment as requiring personal appearance on the secretary's part, for itamounted to no more than this:--the death of hexam rendering the sweat of the honest man's brow unprofitable, the honest man hadshufflingly declined to moisten his brow for nothing, with that severe exertionwhich is known in legal circles as swearing your way through a stone wall.

consequently, that new light had gonesputtering out. but, the airing of the old facts had ledsome one concerned to suggest that it would be well before they were reconsigned totheir gloomy shelf--now probably for ever-- to induce or compel that mr julius handfordto reappear and be questioned. and all traces of mr julius handford beinglost, lightwood now referred to his client for authority to seek him through publicadvertisement. 'does your objection go to writing tolightwood, rokesmith?' 'not in the least, sir.''then perhaps you'll write him a line, and say he is free to do what he likes.

i don't think it promises.''i don't think it promises,' said the secretary.'still, he may do what he likes.' 'i will write immediately. let me thank you for so consideratelyyielding to my disinclination. it may seem less unreasonable, if i avow toyou that although i don't know mr lightwood, i have a disagreeableassociation connected with him. it is not his fault; he is not at all toblame for it, and does not even know my name.'mr boffin dismissed the matter with a nod or two.

the letter was written, and next day mrjulius handford was advertised for. he was requested to place himself incommunication with mr mortimer lightwood, as a possible means of furthering the endsof justice, and a reward was offered to any one acquainted with his whereabout who would communicate the same to the said mrmortimer lightwood at his office in the temple. every day for six weeks this advertisementappeared at the head of all the newspapers, and every day for six weeks the secretary,when he saw it, said to himself; in the tone in which he had said to his employer,--'i don't think it promises!'

among his first occupations the pursuit ofthat orphan wanted by mrs boffin held a conspicuous place. from the earliest moment of his engagementhe showed a particular desire to please her, and, knowing her to have this objectat heart, he followed it up with unwearying alacrity and interest. mr and mrs milvey had found their search adifficult one. either an eligible orphan was of the wrongsex (which almost always happened) or was too old, or too young, or too sickly, ortoo dirty, or too much accustomed to the streets, or too likely to run away; or, it

was found impossible to complete thephilanthropic transaction without buying the orphan. for, the instant it became known thatanybody wanted the orphan, up started some affectionate relative of the orphan who puta price upon the orphan's head. the suddenness of an orphan's rise in themarket was not to be paralleled by the maddest records of the stock exchange. he would be at five thousand per centdiscount out at nurse making a mud pie at nine in the morning, and (being inquiredfor) would go up to five thousand per cent premium before noon.

the market was 'rigged' in various artfulways. counterfeit stock got into circulation.parents boldly represented themselves as dead, and brought their orphans with them. genuine orphan-stock was surreptitiouslywithdrawn from the market. it being announced, by emissaries postedfor the purpose, that mr and mrs milvey were coming down the court, orphan scripwould be instantly concealed, and production refused, save on a condition usually stated by the brokers as 'a gallonof beer'. likewise, fluctuations of a wild and south-sea nature were occasioned, by orphan-

holders keeping back, and then rushing intothe market a dozen together. but, the uniform principle at the root ofall these various operations was bargain and sale; and that principle could not berecognized by mr and mrs milvey. at length, tidings were received by thereverend frank of a charming orphan to be found at brentford. one of the deceased parents (late hisparishioners) had a poor widowed grandmother in that agreeable town, andshe, mrs betty higden, had carried off the orphan with maternal care, but could notafford to keep him. the secretary proposed to mrs boffin,either to go down himself and take a

preliminary survey of this orphan, or todrive her down, that she might at once form her own opinion. mrs boffin preferring the latter course,they set off one morning in a hired phaeton, conveying the hammer-headed youngman behind them. the abode of mrs betty higden was not easyto find, lying in such complicated back settlements of muddy brentford that theyleft their equipage at the sign of the three magpies, and went in search of it onfoot. after many inquiries and defeats, there waspointed out to them in a lane, a very small cottage residence, with a board across theopen doorway, hooked on to which board by

the armpits was a young gentleman of tender years, angling for mud with a headlesswooden horse and line. in this young sportsman, distinguished by acrisply curling auburn head and a bluff countenance, the secretary descried theorphan. it unfortunately happened as they quickenedtheir pace, that the orphan, lost to considerations of personal safety in theardour of the moment, overbalanced himself and toppled into the street. being an orphan of a chubby conformation,he then took to rolling, and had rolled into the gutter before they could come up.

from the gutter he was rescued by johnrokesmith, and thus the first meeting with mrs higden was inaugurated by the awkwardcircumstance of their being in possession-- one would say at first sight unlawful possession--of the orphan, upside down andpurple in the countenance. the board across the doorway too, acting asa trap equally for the feet of mrs higden coming out, and the feet of mrs boffin andjohn rokesmith going in, greatly increased the difficulty of the situation: to which the cries of the orphan imparted alugubrious and inhuman character. at first, it was impossible to explain, onaccount of the orphan's 'holding his

breath': a most terrific proceeding, super-inducing in the orphan lead-colour rigidity and a deadly silence, compared with which his cries were music yielding the height ofenjoyment. but as he gradually recovered, mrs boffingradually introduced herself; and smiling peace was gradually wooed back to mrs bettyhigden's home. it was then perceived to be a small homewith a large mangle in it, at the handle of which machine stood a very long boy, with avery little head, and an open mouth of disproportionate capacity that seemed toassist his eyes in staring at the visitors. in a corner below the mangle, on a coupleof stools, sat two very little children: a

boy and a girl; and when the very long boy,in an interval of staring, took a turn at the mangle, it was alarming to see how it lunged itself at those two innocents, likea catapult designed for their destruction, harmlessly retiring when within an inch oftheir heads. the room was clean and neat. it had a brick floor, and a window ofdiamond panes, and a flounce hanging below the chimney-piece, and strings nailed frombottom to top outside the window on which scarlet-beans were to grow in the comingseason if the fates were propitious. however propitious they might have been inthe seasons that were gone, to betty higden

in the matter of beans, they had not beenvery favourable in the matter of coins; for it was easy to see that she was poor. she was one of those old women, was mrsbetty higden, who by dint of an indomitable purpose and a strong constitution fight outmany years, though each year has come with its new knock-down blows fresh to the fight against her, wearied by it; an active oldwoman, with a bright dark eye and a resolute face, yet quite a tender creaturetoo; not a logically-reasoning woman, but god is good, and hearts may count in heavenas high as heads. 'yes sure!' said she, when the business wasopened, 'mrs milvey had the kindness to

write to me, ma'am, and i got sloppy toread it. it was a pretty letter. but she's an affable lady.'the visitors glanced at the long boy, who seemed to indicate by a broader stare ofhis mouth and eyes that in him sloppy stood confessed. 'for i aint, you must know,' said betty,'much of a hand at reading writing-hand, though i can read my bible and most print.and i do love a newspaper. you mightn't think it, but sloppy is abeautiful reader of a newspaper. he do the police in different voices.'

the visitors again considered it a point ofpoliteness to look at sloppy, who, looking at them, suddenly threw back his head,extended his mouth to its utmost width, and laughed loud and long. at this the two innocents, with theirbrains in that apparent danger, laughed, and mrs higden laughed, and the orphanlaughed, and then the visitors laughed. which was more cheerful than intelligible. then sloppy seeming to be seized with anindustrious mania or fury, turned to at the mangle, and impelled it at the heads of theinnocents with such a creaking and rumbling, that mrs higden stopped him.

'the gentlefolks can't hear themselvesspeak, sloppy. bide a bit, bide a bit!''is that the dear child in your lap?' said mrs boffin. 'yes, ma'am, this is johnny.''johnny, too!' cried mrs boffin, turning to the secretary; 'already johnny!only one of the two names left to give him! he's a pretty boy.' with his chin tucked down in his shychildish manner, he was looking furtively at mrs boffin out of his blue eyes, andreaching his fat dimpled hand up to the lips of the old woman, who was kissing itby times.

'yes, ma'am, he's a pretty boy, he's a deardarling boy, he's the child of my own last left daughter's daughter. but she's gone the way of all the rest.''those are not his brother and sister?' said mrs boffin.'oh, dear no, ma'am. those are minders.' 'minders?' the secretary repeated.'left to be minded, sir. i keep a minding-school.i can take only three, on account of the mangle. but i love children, and four-pence a weekis four-pence.

come here, toddles and poddles.'toddles was the pet-name of the boy; poddles of the girl. at their little unsteady pace, they cameacross the floor, hand-in-hand, as if they were traversing an extremely difficult roadintersected by brooks, and, when they had had their heads patted by mrs betty higden, made lunges at the orphan, dramaticallyrepresenting an attempt to bear him, crowing, into captivity and slavery. all the three children enjoyed this to adelightful extent, and the sympathetic sloppy again laughed long and loud.

when it was discreet to stop the play,betty higden said 'go to your seats toddles and poddles,' and they returned hand-in-hand across country, seeming to find the brooks rather swollen by late rains. 'and master--or mister--sloppy?' said thesecretary, in doubt whether he was man, boy, or what. 'a love-child,' returned betty higden,dropping her voice; 'parents never known; found in the street.he was brought up in the--' with a shiver of repugnance, '--the house.' 'the poor-house?' said the secretary.mrs higden set that resolute old face of

hers, and darkly nodded yes.'you dislike the mention of it.' 'dislike the mention of it?' answered theold woman. 'kill me sooner than take me there. throw this pretty child under cart-horsesfeet and a loaded waggon, sooner than take him there. come to us and find us all a-dying, and seta light to us all where we lie and let us all blaze away with the house into a heapof cinders sooner than move a corpse of us there!' a surprising spirit in this lonely womanafter so many years of hard working, and

hard living, my lords and gentlemen andhonourable boards! what is it that we call it in our grandiosespeeches? british independence, rather perverted?is that, or something like it, the ring of the cant? 'do i never read in the newspapers,' saidthe dame, fondling the child--'god help me and the like of me!--how the worn-outpeople that do come down to that, get driven from post to pillar and pillar topost, a-purpose to tire them out! do i never read how they are put off, putoff, put off--how they are grudged, grudged, grudged, the shelter, or thedoctor, or the drop of physic, or the bit

of bread? do i never read how they grow heartsick ofit and give it up, after having let themselves drop so low, and how they afterall die out for want of help? then i say, i hope i can die as well asanother, and i'll die without that disgrace.' absolutely impossible my lords andgentlemen and honourable boards, by any stretch of legislative wisdom to set theseperverse people right in their logic? 'johnny, my pretty,' continued old betty,caressing the child, and rather mourning over it than speaking to it, 'your oldgranny betty is nigher fourscore year than

threescore and ten. she never begged nor had a penny of theunion money in all her life. she paid scot and she paid lot when she hadmoney to pay; she worked when she could, and she starved when she must. you pray that your granny may have strengthenough left her at the last (she's strong for an old one, johnny), to get up from herbed and run and hide herself and swown to death in a hole, sooner than fall into the hands of those cruel jacks we read of thatdodge and drive, and worry and weary, and scorn and shame, the decent poor.'

a brilliant success, my lords and gentlemenand honourable boards to have brought it to this in the minds of the best of the poor!under submission, might it be worth thinking of at any odd time? the fright and abhorrence that mrs bettyhigden smoothed out of her strong face as she ended this diversion, showed howseriously she had meant it. 'and does he work for you?' asked thesecretary, gently bringing the discourse back to master or mister sloppy.'yes,' said betty with a good-humoured smile and nod of the head. 'and well too.''does he live here?'

'he lives more here than anywhere.he was thought to be no better than a natural, and first come to me as a minder. i made interest with mr blogg the beadle tohave him as a minder, seeing him by chance up at church, and thinking i might dosomething with him. for he was a weak ricketty creetur then.' 'is he called by his right name?''why, you see, speaking quite correctly, he has no right name.i always understood he took his name from being found on a sloppy night.' 'he seems an amiable fellow.''bless you, sir, there's not a bit of him,'

returned betty, 'that's not amiable.so you may judge how amiable he is, by running your eye along his heighth.' of an ungainly make was sloppy.too much of him longwise, too little of him broadwise, and too many sharp angles of himangle-wise. one of those shambling male humancreatures, born to be indiscreetly candid in the revelation of buttons; every buttonhe had about him glaring at the public to a quite preternatural extent. a considerable capital of knee and elbowand wrist and ankle, had sloppy, and he didn't know how to dispose of it to thebest advantage, but was always investing it

in wrong securities, and so getting himselfinto embarrassed circumstances. full-private number one in the awkwardsquad of the rank and file of life, was sloppy, and yet had his glimmering notionsof standing true to the colours. 'and now,' said mrs boffin, 'concerningjohnny.' as johnny, with his chin tucked in and lipspouting, reclined in betty's lap, concentrating his blue eyes on the visitorsand shading them from observation with a dimpled arm, old betty took one of his fresh fat hands in her withered right, andfell to gently beating it on her withered left.'yes, ma'am.

concerning johnny.' 'if you trust the dear child to me,' saidmrs boffin, with a face inviting trust, 'he shall have the best of homes, the best ofcare, the best of education, the best of friends. please god i will be a true good mother tohim!' 'i am thankful to you, ma'am, and the dearchild would be thankful if he was old enough to understand.' still lightly beating the little hand uponher own. 'i wouldn't stand in the dear child'slight, not if i had all my life before me

instead of a very little of it. but i hope you won't take it ill that icleave to the child closer than words can tell, for he's the last living thing leftme.' 'take it ill, my dear soul? is it likely?and you so tender of him as to bring him home here!' 'i have seen,' said betty, still with thatlight beat upon her hard rough hand, 'so many of them on my lap.and they are all gone but this one! i am ashamed to seem so selfish, but idon't really mean it.

it'll be the making of his fortune, andhe'll be a gentleman when i am dead. i--i--don't know what comes over me. i--try against it.don't notice me!' the light beat stopped, the resolute mouthgave way, and the fine strong old face broke up into weakness and tears. now, greatly to the relief of the visitors,the emotional sloppy no sooner beheld his patroness in this condition, than, throwingback his head and throwing open his mouth, he lifted up his voice and bellowed. this alarming note of something wronginstantly terrified toddles and poddles,

who were no sooner heard to roarsurprisingly, than johnny, curving himself the wrong way and striking out at mrs boffin with a pair of indifferent shoes,became a prey to despair. the absurdity of the situation put itspathos to the rout. mrs betty higden was herself in a moment,and brought them all to order with that speed, that sloppy, stopping short in apolysyllabic bellow, transferred his energy to the mangle, and had taken several penitential turns before he could bestopped. 'there, there, there!' said mrs boffin,almost regarding her kind self as the most

ruthless of women. 'nothing is going to be done.nobody need be frightened. we're all comfortable; ain't we, mrshigden?' 'sure and certain we are,' returned betty. 'and there really is no hurry, you know,'said mrs boffin in a lower voice. 'take time to think of it, my goodcreature!' 'don't you fear me no more, ma'am,' saidbetty; 'i thought of it for good yesterday. i don't know what come over me just now,but it'll never come again.' 'well, then, johnny shall have more time tothink of it,' returned mrs boffin; 'the

pretty child shall have time to get used toit. and you'll get him more used to it, if youthink well of it; won't you?' betty undertook that, cheerfully andreadily. 'lor,' cried mrs boffin, looking radiantlyabout her, 'we want to make everybody happy, not dismal!--and perhaps youwouldn't mind letting me know how used to it you begin to get, and how it all goeson?' 'i'll send sloppy,' said mrs higden. 'and this gentleman who has come with mewill pay him for his trouble,' said mrs 'and mr sloppy, whenever you come to myhouse, be sure you never go away without

having had a good dinner of meat, beer,vegetables, and pudding.' this still further brightened the face ofaffairs; for, the highly sympathetic sloppy, first broadly staring and grinning,and then roaring with laughter, toddles and poddles followed suit, and johnny trumpedthe trick. t and p considering these favourablecircumstances for the resumption of that dramatic descent upon johnny, again cameacross-country hand-in-hand upon a buccaneering expedition; and this having been fought out in the chimney cornerbehind mrs higden's chair, with great valour on both sides, those desperatepirates returned hand-in-hand to their

stools, across the dry bed of a mountaintorrent. 'you must tell me what i can do for you,betty my friend,' said mrs boffin confidentially, 'if not to-day, next time.' 'thank you all the same, ma'am, but i wantnothing for myself. i can work.i'm strong. i can walk twenty mile if i'm put to it.' old betty was proud, and said it with asparkle in her bright eyes. 'yes, but there are some little comfortsthat you wouldn't be the worse for,' returned mrs boffin.

'bless ye, i wasn't born a lady any morethan you.' 'it seems to me,' said betty, smiling,'that you were born a lady, and a true one, or there never was a lady born. but i couldn't take anything from you, mydear. i never did take anything from any one.it ain't that i'm not grateful, but i love to earn it better.' 'well, well!' returned mrs boffin.'i only spoke of little things, or i wouldn't have taken the liberty.'betty put her visitor's hand to her lips, in acknowledgment of the delicate answer.

wonderfully upright her figure was, andwonderfully self-reliant her look, as, standing facing her visitor, she explainedherself further. 'if i could have kept the dear child,without the dread that's always upon me of his coming to that fate i have spoken of, icould never have parted with him, even to you. for i love him, i love him, i love him!i love my husband long dead and gone, in him; i love my children dead and gone, inhim; i love my young and hopeful days dead and gone, in him. i couldn't sell that love, and look you inyour bright kind face.

it's a free gift.i am in want of nothing. when my strength fails me, if i can but dieout quick and quiet, i shall be quite content. i have stood between my dead and that shamei have spoken of; and it has been kept off from every one of them. sewed into my gown,' with her hand upon herbreast, 'is just enough to lay me in the grave. only see that it's rightly spent, so as imay rest free to the last from that cruelty and disgrace, and you'll have done muchmore than a little thing for me, and all

that in this present world my heart is setupon.' mrs betty higden's visitor pressed herhand. there was no more breaking up of the strongold face into weakness. my lords and gentlemen and honourableboards, it really was as composed as our own faces, and almost as dignified. and now, johnny was to be inveigled intooccupying a temporary position on mrs boffin's lap. it was not until he had been piqued intocompetition with the two diminutive minders, by seeing them successively raisedto that post and retire from it without

injury, that he could be by any means induced to leave mrs betty higden's skirts;towards which he exhibited, even when in mrs boffin's embrace, strong yearnings,spiritual and bodily; the former expressed in a very gloomy visage, the latter inextended arms. however, a general description of the toy-wonders lurking in mr boffin's house, so far conciliated this worldly-minded orphanas to induce him to stare at her frowningly, with a fist in his mouth, and even at length to chuckle when a richly-caparisoned horse on wheels, with a miraculous gift of cantering to cake-shops,was mentioned.

this sound being taken up by the minders,swelled into a rapturous trio which gave general satisfaction. so, the interview was considered verysuccessful, and mrs boffin was pleased, and all were satisfied. not least of all, sloppy, who undertook toconduct the visitors back by the best way to the three magpies, and whom the hammer-headed young man much despised. this piece of business thus put in train,the secretary drove mrs boffin back to the bower, and found employment for himself atthe new house until evening. whether, when evening came, he took a wayto his lodgings that led through fields,

with any design of finding miss bellawilfer in those fields, is not so certain as that she regularly walked there at thathour. and, moreover, it is certain that there shewas. no longer in mourning, miss bella wasdressed in as pretty colours as she could muster. there is no denying that she was as prettyas they, and that she and the colours went very prettily together. she was reading as she walked, and ofcourse it is to be inferred, from her showing no knowledge of mr rokesmith'sapproach, that she did not know he was

approaching. 'eh?' said miss bella, raising her eyesfrom her book, when he stopped before her. 'oh! it's you.''only i. a fine evening!' 'is it?' said bella, looking coldly round.'i suppose it is, now you mention it. i have not been thinking of the evening.''so intent upon your book?' 'ye-e-es,' replied bella, with a drawl ofindifference. 'a love story, miss wilfer?''oh dear no, or i shouldn't be reading it. it's more about money than anything else.'

'and does it say that money is better thananything?' 'upon my word,' returned bella, 'i forgetwhat it says, but you can find out for yourself if you like, mr rokesmith. i don't want it any more.'the secretary took the book--she had fluttered the leaves as if it were a fan--and walked beside her. 'i am charged with a message for you, misswilfer.' 'impossible, i think!' said bella, withanother drawl. 'from mrs boffin. she desired me to assure you of thepleasure she has in finding that she will

be ready to receive you in another week ortwo at furthest.' bella turned her head towards him, with herprettily-insolent eyebrows raised, and her eyelids drooping.as much as to say, 'how did you come by the message, pray?' 'i have been waiting for an opportunity oftelling you that i am mr boffin's secretary.' 'i am as wise as ever,' said miss bella,loftily, 'for i don't know what a secretary is.not that it signifies.' 'not at all.'

a covert glance at her face, as he walkedbeside her, showed him that she had not expected his ready assent to thatproposition. 'then are you going to be always there, mrrokesmith?' she inquired, as if that would be a drawback.'always? no. very much there? yes.' 'dear me!' drawled bella, in a tone ofmortification. 'but my position there as secretary, willbe very different from yours as guest. you will know little or nothing about me. i shall transact the business: you willtransact the pleasure.

i shall have my salary to earn; you willhave nothing to do but to enjoy and attract.' 'attract, sir?' said bella, again with hereyebrows raised, and her eyelids drooping. 'i don't understand you.'without replying on this point, mr rokesmith went on. 'excuse me; when i first saw you in yourblack dress--' ('there!' was miss bella's mentalexclamation. 'what did i say to them at home? everybody noticed that ridiculousmourning.')

'when i first saw you in your black dress,i was at a loss to account for that distinction between yourself and yourfamily. i hope it was not impertinent to speculateupon it?' 'i hope not, i am sure,' said miss bella,haughtily. 'but you ought to know best how youspeculated upon it.' mr rokesmith inclined his head in adeprecatory manner, and went on. 'since i have been entrusted with mrboffin's affairs, i have necessarily come to understand the little mystery.i venture to remark that i feel persuaded that much of your loss may be repaired.

i speak, of course, merely of wealth, misswilfer. the loss of a perfect stranger, whoseworth, or worthlessness, i cannot estimate- -nor you either--is beside the question. but this excellent gentleman and lady areso full of simplicity, so full of generosity, so inclined towards you, and sodesirous to--how shall i express it?--to make amends for their good fortune, thatyou have only to respond.' as he watched her with another covert look,he saw a certain ambitious triumph in her face which no assumed coldness couldconceal. 'as we have been brought under one roof byan accidental combination of circumstances,

which oddly extends itself to the newrelations before us, i have taken the liberty of saying these few words. you don't consider them intrusive i hope?'said the secretary with deference. 'really, mr rokesmith, i can't say what iconsider them,' returned the young lady. 'they are perfectly new to me, and may befounded altogether on your own imagination.''you will see.' these same fields were opposite the wilferpremises. the discreet mrs wilfer now looking out ofwindow and beholding her daughter in conference with her lodger, instantly tiedup her head and came out for a casual walk.

'i have been telling miss wilfer,' saidjohn rokesmith, as the majestic lady came stalking up, 'that i have become, by acurious chance, mr boffin's secretary or man of business.' 'i have not,' returned mrs wilfer, wavingher gloves in her chronic state of dignity, and vague ill-usage, 'the honour of anyintimate acquaintance with mr boffin, and it is not for me to congratulate thatgentleman on the acquisition he has made.' 'a poor one enough,' said rokesmith. 'pardon me,' returned mrs wilfer, 'themerits of mr boffin may be highly distinguished--may be more distinguishedthan the countenance of mrs boffin would

imply--but it were the insanity of humilityto deem him worthy of a better assistant.' 'you are very good. i have also been telling miss wilfer thatshe is expected very shortly at the new residence in town.' 'having tacitly consented,' said mrswilfer, with a grand shrug of her shoulders, and another wave of her gloves,'to my child's acceptance of the proffered attentions of mrs boffin, i interpose noobjection.' here miss bella offered the remonstrance:'don't talk nonsense, ma, please.' 'peace!' said mrs wilfer.

'no, ma, i am not going to be made soabsurd. interposing objections!' 'i say,' repeated mrs wilfer, with a vastaccess of grandeur, 'that i am not going to interpose objections. if mrs boffin (to whose countenance nodisciple of lavater could possibly for a single moment subscribe),' with a shiver,'seeks to illuminate her new residence in town with the attractions of a child of mine, i am content that she should befavoured by the company of a child of mine.'

'you use the word, ma'am, i have myselfused,' said rokesmith, with a glance at bella, 'when you speak of miss wilfer'sattractions there.' 'pardon me,' returned mrs wilfer, withdreadful solemnity, 'but i had not finished.''pray excuse me.' 'i was about to say,' pursued mrs wilfer,who clearly had not had the faintest idea of saying anything more: 'that when i usethe term attractions, i do so with the qualification that i do not mean it in anyway whatever.' the excellent lady delivered this luminouselucidation of her views with an air of greatly obliging her hearers, and greatlydistinguishing herself.

whereat miss bella laughed a scornfullittle laugh and said: 'quite enough about this, i am sure, on allsides. have the goodness, mr rokesmith, to give mylove to mrs boffin--' 'pardon me!' cried mrs wilfer.'compliments.' 'love!' repeated bella, with a little stampof her foot. 'no!' said mrs wilfer, monotonously.'compliments.' ('say miss wilfer's love, and mrs wilfer'scompliments,' the secretary proposed, as a compromise.)'and i shall be very glad to come when she is ready for me.

the sooner, the better.''one last word, bella,' said mrs wilfer, 'before descending to the family apartment. i trust that as a child of mine you willever be sensible that it will be graceful in you, when associating with mr and mrsboffin upon equal terms, to remember that the secretary, mr rokesmith, as your father's lodger, has a claim on your goodword.' the condescension with which mrs wilferdelivered this proclamation of patronage, was as wonderful as the swiftness withwhich the lodger had lost caste in the secretary.

he smiled as the mother retired downstairs; but his face fell, as the daughter followed. 'so insolent, so trivial, so capricious, somercenary, so careless, so hard to touch, so hard to turn!' he said, bitterly.and added as he went upstairs. 'and yet so pretty, so pretty!' and added presently, as he walked to andfro in his room. 'and if she knew!' she knew that he was shaking the house byhis walking to and fro; and she declared it another of the miseries of being poor, thatyou couldn't get rid of a haunting

secretary, stump--stump--stumping overheadin the dark, like a ghost. our mutual friend by charles dickenschapter 17 a dismal swamp and now, in the blooming summer days,behold mr and mrs boffin established in the eminently aristocratic family mansion, andbehold all manner of crawling, creeping, fluttering, and buzzing creatures, attracted by the gold dust of the goldendustman! foremost among those leaving cards at theeminently aristocratic door before it is quite painted, are the veneerings: out ofbreath, one might imagine, from the

impetuosity of their rush to the eminentlyaristocratic steps. one copper-plate mrs veneering, two copper-plate mr veneerings, and a connubial copper-plate mr and mrs veneering,requesting the honour of mr and mrs boffin's company at dinner with the utmostanalytical solemnities. the enchanting lady tippins leaves a card.twemlow leaves cards. a tall custard-coloured phaeton tooling upin a solemn manner leaves four cards, to wit, a couple of mr podsnaps, a mrspodsnap, and a miss podsnap. all the world and his wife and daughterleave cards. sometimes the world's wife has so manydaughters, that her card reads rather like

a miscellaneous lot at an auction;comprising mrs tapkins, miss tapkins, miss frederica tapkins, miss antonina tapkins, miss malvina tapkins, and miss euphemiatapkins; at the same time, the same lady leaves the card of mrs henry george alfredswoshle, nee tapkins; also, a card, mrs tapkins at home, wednesdays, music,portland place. miss bella wilfer becomes an inmate, for anindefinite period, of the eminently aristocratic dwelling. mrs boffin bears miss bella away to hermilliner's and dressmaker's, and she gets beautifully dressed.

the veneerings find with swift remorse thatthey have omitted to invite miss bella wilfer. one mrs veneering and one mr and mrsveneering requesting that additional honour, instantly do penance in whitecardboard on the hall table. mrs tapkins likewise discovers heromission, and with promptitude repairs it; for herself; for miss tapkins, for missfrederica tapkins, for miss antonina tapkins, for miss malvina tapkins, and formiss euphemia tapkins. likewise, for mrs henry george alfredswoshle nee tapkins. likewise, for mrs tapkins at home,wednesdays, music, portland place.

tradesmen's books hunger, and tradesmen'smouths water, for the gold dust of the golden dustman. as mrs boffin and miss wilfer drive out, oras mr boffin walks out at his jog-trot pace, the fishmonger pulls off his hat withan air of reverence founded on conviction. his men cleanse their fingers on theirwoollen aprons before presuming to touch their foreheads to mr boffin or lady. the gaping salmon and the golden mulletlying on the slab seem to turn up their eyes sideways, as they would turn up theirhands if they had any, in worshipping admiration.

the butcher, though a portly and aprosperous man, doesn't know what to do with himself; so anxious is he to expresshumility when discovered by the passing boffins taking the air in a mutton grove. presents are made to the boffin servants,and bland strangers with business-cards meeting said servants in the street, offerhypothetical corruption. as, 'supposing i was to be favoured with anorder from mr boffin, my dear friend, it would be worth my while'--to do a certainthing that i hope might not prove wholly disagreeable to your feelings. but no one knows so well as the secretary,who opens and reads the letters, what a set

is made at the man marked by a stroke ofnotoriety. oh the varieties of dust for ocular use,offered in exchange for the gold dust of the golden dustman! fifty-seven churches to be erected withhalf-crowns, forty-two parsonage houses to be repaired with shillings, seven-and-twenty organs to be built with halfpence, twelve hundred children to be brought up onpostage stamps. not that a half-crown, shilling, halfpenny,or postage stamp, would be particularly acceptable from mr boffin, but that it isso obvious he is the man to make up the deficiency.

and then the charities, my christianbrother! and mostly in difficulties, yet mostlylavish, too, in the expensive articles of print and paper. large fat private double letter, sealedwith ducal coronet. 'nicodemus boffin, esquire. my dear sir,--having consented to presideat the forthcoming annual dinner of the family party fund, and feeling deeplyimpressed with the immense usefulness of that noble institution and the great importance of its being supported by a listof stewards that shall prove to the public

the interest taken in it by popular anddistinguished men, i have undertaken to ask you to become a steward on that occasion. soliciting your favourable reply before the14th instant, i am, my dear sir, your faithful servant, linseed.p.s. the steward's fee is limited to three guineas.' friendly this, on the part of the duke oflinseed (and thoughtful in the postscript), only lithographed by the hundred andpresenting but a pale individuality of an address to nicodemus boffin, esquire, inquite another hand. it takes two noble earls and a viscount,combined, to inform nicodemus boffin,

esquire, in an equally flattering manner,that an estimable lady in the west of england has offered to present a purse containing twenty pounds, to the societyfor granting annuities to unassuming members of the middle classes, if twentyindividuals will previously present purses of one hundred pounds each. and those benevolent noblemen very kindlypoint out that if nicodemus boffin, esquire, should wish to present two or morepurses, it will not be inconsistent with the design of the estimable lady in the west of england, provided each purse becoupled with the name of some member of his

honoured and respected family.these are the corporate beggars. but there are, besides, the individualbeggars; and how does the heart of the secretary fail him when he has to cope withthem! and they must be coped with to some extent,because they all enclose documents (they call their scraps documents; but they are,as to papers deserving the name, what minced veal is to a calf), the non-returnof which would be their ruin. that is say, they are utterly ruined now,but they would be more utterly ruined then. among these correspondents are severaldaughters of general officers, long accustomed to every luxury of life (exceptspelling), who little thought, when their

gallant fathers waged war in the peninsula, that they would ever have to appeal tothose whom providence, in its inscrutable wisdom, has blessed with untold gold, andfrom among whom they select the name of nicodemus boffin, esquire, for a maiden effort in this wise, understanding that hehas such a heart as never was. the secretary learns, too, that confidencebetween man and wife would seem to obtain but rarely when virtue is in distress, sonumerous are the wives who take up their pens to ask mr boffin for money without the knowledge of their devoted husbands, whowould never permit it; while, on the other

hand, so numerous are the husbands who takeup their pens to ask mr boffin for money without the knowledge of their devoted wives, who would instantly go out of theirsenses if they had the least suspicion of the circumstance.there are the inspired beggars, too. these were sitting, only yesterday evening,musing over a fragment of candle which must soon go out and leave them in the dark forthe rest of their nights, when surely some angel whispered the name of nicodemus boffin, esquire, to their souls, impartingrays of hope, nay confidence, to which they had long been strangers!akin to these are the suggestively-

befriended beggars. they were partaking of a cold potato andwater by the flickering and gloomy light of a lucifer-match, in their lodgings (rentconsiderably in arrear, and heartless landlady threatening expulsion 'like a dog' into the streets), when a gifted friendhappening to look in, said, 'write immediately to nicodemus boffin, esquire,'and would take no denial. there are the nobly independent beggarstoo. these, in the days of their abundance, everregarded gold as dross, and have not yet got over that only impediment in the way oftheir amassing wealth, but they want no

dross from nicodemus boffin, esquire; no, mr boffin; the world may term it pride,paltry pride if you will, but they wouldn't take it if you offered it; a loan, sir--forfourteen weeks to the day, interest calculated at the rate of five per cent per annum, to be bestowed upon any charitableinstitution you may name--is all they want of you, and if you have the meanness torefuse it, count on being despised by these great spirits. there are the beggars of punctual business-habits too. these will make an end of themselves at aquarter to one p.m. on tuesday, if no post-

office order is in the interim receivedfrom nicodemus boffin, esquire; arriving after a quarter to one p.m. on tuesday, it need not be sent, as they will then (havingmade an exact memorandum of the heartless circumstances) be 'cold in death.' there are the beggars on horseback too, inanother sense from the sense of the proverb.these are mounted and ready to start on the highway to affluence. the goal is before them, the road is in thebest condition, their spurs are on, the steed is willing, but, at the last moment,for want of some special thing--a clock, a

violin, an astronomical telescope, an electrifying machine--they must dismountfor ever, unless they receive its equivalent in money from nicodemus boffin,esquire. less given to detail are the beggars whomake sporting ventures. these, usually to be addressed in replyunder initials at a country post-office, inquire in feminine hands, dare one whocannot disclose herself to nicodemus boffin, esquire, but whose name might startle him were it revealed, solicit theimmediate advance of two hundred pounds from unexpected riches exercising theirnoblest privilege in the trust of a common

humanity? in such a dismal swamp does the new housestand, and through it does the secretary daily struggle breast-high. not to mention all the people alive whohave made inventions that won't act, and all the jobbers who job in all thejobberies jobbed; though these may be regarded as the alligators of the dismal swamp, and are always lying by to drag thegolden dustman under. but the old house.there are no designs against the golden dustman there?

there are no fish of the shark tribe in thebower waters? perhaps not. still, wegg is established there, and wouldseem, judged by his secret proceedings, to cherish a notion of making a discovery. for, when a man with a wooden leg liesprone on his stomach to peep under bedsteads; and hops up ladders, like someextinct bird, to survey the tops of presses and cupboards; and provides himself an iron rod which he is always poking and proddinginto dust-mounds; the probability is that he expects to find something.

Just got my check for $500 

Sometimes people don't believe me when I tell them about how much you can make taking paid surveys online...

 So I took a video of myself actually getting paid $500 for paid surveys to finally set the record straight.